Sense my previous-self

Hi salam readers!😁
Idk how to start, so,,
Hv fun reading!

"Kau taktahu weh, dia tu depan lain , belakang lain gila"

I do remember his words. I mean my closest friend's in school. Trust me. I never thought yang I dgn that person yang dia mention tu would become as closed as we were. Satu hari tu, aku sedar yang EH WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY? Is he wanna be my friend? Teringatkan apa yg my closest friend aka AK cakap tu, i even ask manyy peops if i really can make him as friend. Pastu, ada yg ckp kenapa pe semua, and they said hes ok cuz dia tak pernah kutuk i kat skolah mcm mana dia kutuk this one girl. Dia takde pulak  cerita dia taksuka I. And yeah, i also ask AK , and dia cuma suruh i berhatihati, sbb dia taktahu la yg tht guy camana skrg sbb manusia boleh berubah. And dia tanak la halang org lain berkawan, but tu lah AK asked me to be extra careful.

Yep , i hv been EXTRA CAREFUL, but idk , maybe im not that careful or Allah just want this to happen kan. Udah deh serahin aja sama Allah . HEHE . rn, Allah shows me bukan cuma dia depan lain belakang lain, he also cakap lain buat lain. Allahuu .

IT IS MY FAULT EXPECTING HE WOULD BE SINCERE EITHER IN FRONT OR MY BACK .
IT IS MY FAULT I DIDNT CAREFUL ENOUGH IN CHOOSING FRIEND.
IT IS MY FAULT HOPING THAT HE WILL TURN OUT TO BE SOMEONE BETTER.

So, i pilih utk build distance. So that he will no longer can do "depan lain belakang lain" towards me.
How?
I know what his dislikes, Ive been someone he doesnt like ha ha ha gigih kan sis? Weh im no longer can bear those hurts ah. Sama je dpn lain blkg lain tu dgn TIPU . SAMA! hahaha k tak emo. Okay lepastu, alhamdulillah biiznillah, Allah let the distance appears between us. And alhamdulillah hes with someone else now. Allah saves me . Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah 💜.

Trust me, im tired of being someone who i am not. And since, Allah has made him fall into that girl, i can be me myself back. Alhamdulillah. And currently, i feel like myself again biiznillah alhamdulillah. I could sense the muka kerek my acts towards stranger. I feel like undergoing recoveries, more independant, more garang and wiser. Alhamdulillah i sense my prev-self.

Ya Muqallibal Qulub, thabbit qalbi fi di nik. Amiin.
Night! Wassalam 😊

My very last chance that you wasted.

Salam peops.

I would like to start this entry dgn my tweet harini,,

You hurt me more than he did . But these days,i bleed less than before 😁 #countingdaystoleavezefeels nananananana 

Lets start puitisnyaaa!

You hurt me more than he did. But these days, i bleed less than before.
You made me fell harder than i ever was. Gratefully, i rise quicker than you ever thought.

I gave you my very last chance that millions of guys always wanted , but you wasted it easily.
I taught myself to learn accepting others' flaws, and youre the first who earned, but you never realised.

Now, how much i realised i really shouldnt give you the chance. 
In days forward, ill go .
Somewhere far away to leave the feels that i ever felt for you. 
Exactly like what i did to him-in-my-past. 
Like how i left every piece of love for him in Seoul. 
Trust me, insyaallah biiznillah, ill be completely heal right after im home.

As i arrive there, ill consider everything is done. My done is a forever done. There will be no second chance for ya.

These few months, i gave you space.time. to think.to realise. But seems like you never even need em. 

Im sorry because all i would do is moving on . Thankyou for existing. 


Alhamdulillah Im healing insyaallah thankyou.
Sincerely,SM.

Bait penghargaan seorang Hamba.

Salam Ramadhan Kareem wa Barakah.
So, words are currently playing in my mind, so enjoy!
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. 😊

Dear Allah yang menggenggam hati aku,

Buruknya aku, Kau ilhamkan kebaikan.
Sombongnya aku, Kau taarufkan kesyukuran.
Gelisahnya aku, Kau ukir ketenangan.
Berdosanya aku, Kau rezekikan keampunan.
Jahatnya aku, Kau detikkan keinsafan.
Lemahnya aku, Kau kurniakan kekuatan.
Susahnya aku, Kau nyatakan kemudahan.
Sakitnya aku, Kau datangkan kesembuhan.
Sedihnya aku, Kau hadirkan kegembiraan.
Marahnya aku, Kau kenalkan erti kesabaran.
Deritanya aku, Kau berikan kebahagiaan.
Peritnya aku, Kau hulurkan kesenangan.
Sulitnya aku, Kau suluhkan jalan.
Buntunya aku, Kau tunjukkan penyelesaian.
Rebahnya aku, Kau ajarkan kesungguhan.
Tewasnya aku, Kau bimbingku ke arah kemenangan. 
Sunyinya aku, Kau sentiasa menjadi peneman.

Ya Rabb yg Maha Menguasai seisi langit dan bumi, dunia dan akhirat, nyata dan ghaib, serta segala tiap sesuatu. Sungguh, Allahu rabbi adalah sebab dan punca aku masih bertahan, masih teguh berdiri, di saat semua yakin aku akan tersungkur. Benar, Dia lah satu-satunya harapan aku,kamu dan kita. Duhai diri, dan semua, moga kita tidak berputus asa untuk redha dan rahmatNya, kerana Dia, sentiasa ada untuk kita. الحمدلله .

أستغفر الله العظيم
حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل نعم المولى ونعم النصير

Sincerely,
HambaNya yang masih merangkak menuju redhaNya.

Keliru?

Salam mahabbah gais.
So as the title above, sis nak cer sikit pasal keliru. Keliru dgn org depan mata/sekeliling dgn org yg jauh but kinda special in our lives or once being special in our lives.

Since, apa yg i slalu perhati , bila dah masuk u, masing2 bawak haluan en , pastu nampak baru yg depan mata , yg seakan akan yg pernah rapat pernah sentiasa di samping kita, but tidak lagi. Hm

Just agree with me sbb ive been through this too. Even my friend told me he had crush on this girl, someone he just usha for months. Pastu kat sentence dia ada la "...mcm xxxx" haa that xxxx was his crush kat sekolah dulu. Then, i told him that he might confused dgn apa yg dia pernah suka ((attitudes)) kat someone else dulu dgn yg baru ni, he just need to reconfirm of what he really feels. Sebab yelah nanti kot kalau if the girl also attach to him pastu rupanya2 he just confused, he might breaks her heart,, sebab yelah kadang2 kita rindu dgn how someone treat us once upon a time. Yg skrg smua dah takde smua tinggal kenangan. So bila someone else do just like the way org tu buat dulu, kita rasa mcm bahagia mcm yg pernah kita lalui dulu. So yeah, we dont have to terus cakap suka dia , especially if they have commons with what we HAD.

So im gonna tell you those kekeliruan i ever been bumped into.
Well yeah you know la kan yg posts awal2 dulu move from blehblehbleh . Hahahah ok so
I started my uni life , then tetiba ada sorg ni has srsly prangai mcm tht person in my past. Lepas tu, cam we frequently contact pastu i felt like weh diorg serious ada commons pastu tetiba i tersedar, i dont even like him, i do like his attitude that totally similar with him-the-one-that-in-my-past . I keep telling myself . No you might hurt him later if he into me. He was into me, but then i do feel rs sebersalah because ye lah you buat org fall for you pastu you baru tersedar you dont really fall for that person. Sigh. Im so sorry. 😪 I keep telling myself to stop hurting others as i really do wanna stop ((since Dec'15)) ha ye lah since that person hurts me like A LOT. Hahaha eh hurt "past tense" kay hahahaha .

Second, yep also classmate, he got his name yg bila pronounce sama, he even hebat yakmat dalam subjek bio, ye lah sama macam tu en . Hm . Lepastu bila test ke even kelas , our kedudukan cam accidentally sebelah2 but jarak utk laluan like i had (always) with that one in my past. Ha cuba bayangkan nama sama minat sama apa yg go through in life pun lebih kurang. Kau rasa? Hahaha kadang ternampak muka mcm dia pun ya. (Selalu act) but my classmate ni tembam sikit lel.
But still. Haha

So ni la confuse2 yg pernah i alami. Okay, so awak2 yg rasa mcm suka someone, recheck balik, either are you suka dia sbb apa yg dia ada lebih kurang dgn apa yg awak pernah ada ke memang suka dia completely.? Because of her/himself. Sbb if you have that person dgn kenyataan you just like them for the things that you ever had, nnt satu hari nanti , kau akan sedar, yg kau cuma rindukan someone in your past. Bukan sbb suka dia. Time tu kau akan sakitkan hati dia, sbb dia dah suka kau. Hm. Kalau kau baik, kau pun akan rasa sakit sbb kau sakitkan hati org yg kau tak sepatutnya sakitkan. So utk elakkan all these hurts, pls pls pls do clarify your own confusion. Recheck either kau cuma confuse, or you really into that person.

Goodluck!
Thankyou,. ✨

The Only One That Will Never Leave

Ssup readers,👋🏻
Assalamualaikum to the muslims ,

So Ive got a new kind of poem i think , so yaaahh

Throughout the ups and downs, You stay,
Throughout the days and nights, You stay,
Throughout the happiness and sadness, You stay,
Throughout the rain and the sun,You stay,
Throughout the weakest and the strongest, You stay,
Throughout the ease and hard, You still stay.
Throughout my journey of life, You still stay and be by my side,

And at the end of the day, ill only have you, Dearest The Almighty, Allah
Thankyou for staying Thankyou for all the things you have give, Thankyou for the real loves, 

The end.

Secret Poem from a secret poet

Someone told me to..


Someone told me to not leave, but he left.
Someone told me to not look to other guys, but he looked to other girls.
Someone told me to tell the truth, but he lied.
Someone told me to be loyal, but he cheated.
Someone told me to not break his feelings, but he broke mine.
Someone told me to keep my promise, but he broke his.

Thankyou for the lessons,
Someone. 

Reasons all of my first-half of semesterII plan

Salam and evening readers,

Well, as most of ugais tahu, ive done my best for my part utk first half of sem 2,
Which is i showed people my fake flaws, i had gain hatred from rijal esp from my kts,

Act, my target is just for laki tts, since a guy in my tts had spread the hates in kts, i feel better,
But worse is, my guy from other kts accidentally involve and i kinda sad bout this.Hm

Ok back to the title "REASONS ALL OF MY FIRSTHALF SEM II PLAN"
Sebabnya.. im tired of being scared towards accidentally-attached guys in this university. This hostel.
Weh srs , mmg mengganggu life betul. I dont like em . Aku kwn je en cam biasa , but in the end they always think me more than that. Like pls ive someone else alr. Ive my own target . It just time. Were just waiting for the right time. STOP disturbing me with perangai hawas tu . Dgn rajul kt ofis yg geli gila wesh i even lari naik my house k everyte balik awl , setiap kali terserempak he was  like nampak bidadari dia punya gaya tgk tu AISH.
So, to avoid more majnuns and majnuns to be, i decided to gain hatred from guys. Idc even i seem to be the bad girl cuz i mmg bad pun. So this is the very main reason.
Secondly, it happens because i would like to jauhkan diri from those any guys sbbnya ye lah nk jaga diri jaga hati not just mine, also the one tht i had choose for my future, or more accurate, my future zauj? EH hahaha and ofc because of The Almighty too. ((Ye tahu "tp takyahlah smpai nk org benci")) but nah u know nothing . Idont ask ugais to understand me tho.
Third, look at my first point balik . HAhahahaha ok well thts all for the post.
Salam Asar.